Sunday, April 19, 2009

Intermix This

What have I been doing on this lazy Sunday afternoon? Why, casually filling my Intermix Online shopping cart with thousands of dollars of merchandise, and then editing it all down to the three or four things I would actually buy... you know, if I could hypothetically afford to do so without going hypothetically broke and being forced to wear my fabulous new duds in my less-than-fabulous new home, i.e. a dumpster or under a bridge somewhere.

The finalists include:

I have grand plans for this dress (which is appropriate, since I'd need a grand to buy it... har har). Oh dress, you are speaking to me! You are begging me to layer you over some sheer shirts and underneath a long jacket, making you cold-weather-appropriate. However, due to your cut and color, I think you'd be equally comfortable in the warmth of the summer sun. What a winner.

Also, this shirt was designed for me:

Yes. Oh yes. Oversized men's shirts are some of very favorite items of clothing, but tend to run either a bit short for the width or a bit wide for the length. But lo, behold - this sucker is divinely proportioned. I'm currently picturing it with opaque black tights and ass-kicking ankle boots... either my own from Urban Outfitters, or perhaps a nice expensive pair donated generously to me by net-a-porter, or shopbop, or Carine Roitfeld. Are you reading this, Carine? One woman can only wear so many ankle boots in her lifetime, and you have exceeded your quota... the time has come for you to send your cast-offs my way.

As for this sequin t-shirt:

Yeah, practicality isn't really in play here. I'll admit that. But I want the damn thing, okay? I want to look like a big walking emerald!

Besides... I can't be practical 24 hours a day.
All work and no play makes Jack go crazy and chop his family up with an axe, remember?

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