July Five: Cruelty Free Beauty Recommendations

Somewhere in the world, there is a withered old gypsy who has cursed me to forever run out of all my beauty products at the same exact time. A scrub here, a soap there - restocking it doesn’t hurt you unless you are dropping Big Bucks on overpriced designer hoo-hah, in which case you deserve the pain. But when everything you ever use is suddenly empty, it causes major damage to the deep recesses of my wallet. I’m talking all makeup, all skincare, all bath products, even mouthwash! Deodorant! Things you cannot go days and weeks and months without, telling yourself you’ll restock in more lucrative times. This is stuff you needed yesterday.

The only possible ray of sunshine in this cloud of helpless moneyspending is that you can justify trying out new exciting products . . . which is exactly what I've been doing this past month, and now I am here to share my recommendations with you, dear readers. And all of these brands are cruelty free!

In no particular order:

Brand: Juice Beauty
Product: Antioxidant Serum
Bonus: 100% Certified Organic
If I had a nickel for anytime a face cream claimed to work "like magic", then I would have enough money to buy lots and lots of face creams or even a whole face cream conglomerate. But I don't, I'm guessing you don't either. So just buy this one. I got a free sample from Sephora, tried it out, and my skin was suddenly clear and glowing and moisturized - like magic. Then I used up my sample, and it went back to normal. But to be sure I wasn't fluking myself out, I went back a few months later, and tried again. AGAIN. MAGICAL PERFECTION. I don't know what spells they cast on this witch's brew, but it works, goddamnit. Also, it's 100% certified organic. Technically this is a "serum" which means you use it under your regular day or night cream. I use it at night, since I like to have as little on my face as possible during the day to minimize oiliness, etc.

Brand: The Body Shop
Product: Nature's Minerals Foundation (Shade 01)
Bonus: SPF 15
For some reason, my Swedish-Dutch-Native-American skin refuses to match 99.9% percent of all makeup products. When you take into account that I would only purchase cruelty-free stuff, the search becomes even more fruitless. UNTIL LAST YEAR. A great year in human history. A year in which the Body Shop came out with their mineral foundation, which goes on "like buttah" except obviously not literally like butter because that would be disgusting. Also, I can only speak for myself with regard to shade matching, since everyone's skin is obviously different by degrees of impossible minuteness. But I would encourage you to go to a store and check it out.

Brand: 100% Pure
Product: Pomegranate Antioxidant Hydration (SPF 20)
Bonus: SPF 20
Really, this is all I'll ever use on my face during daytime ever again, unless they stop making it or change it somehow. And even then I will buy up all the remaining bottles on ebay or through private auctions, until I have enough to sustain me for a hundred years.

Brand: 100% Pure
Product: Seaweed Facial Mask
Bonus: Vegan
Okay, this is actually a repeat buy and therefore not a beauty discovery per-say, but whatever. This is not rocket science! It's regular science! The kind where you mix a powdered seaweed concoction with water and apply it all over your face until it dries and then you rinse it off with a washcloth and BEHOLD - your skin, it gloweth! God, I love science so much. Please note: this does, in fact, contain real seaweed and therefore smells like REAL SEAWEED. If you read some of the reviews on beauty.com, you will see occasional complaints about this from people who were surprised to find that a product comprised mostly of seaweed did not smell like perfumed flower petals. Do you really trust these people to advise your purchases? If you hate the smell of seaweed, don't buy this. If you don't, DO BUY THIS.

Brand: C.O. Bigelow
Product: Rose Salve
Bonus: $5.50!
Weirdly, this was the most exciting discovery for me. Many moons ago, my mom bought a tin of that horribly omnipresent "Rosebud Salve" (you know, the one that comes similar tin to the one above) and I tried some. I can safely say that it was supergrosstastic, and moisturized my lips for about thirty seconds before evaporating, leaving my lips coated in a Vaseline-like glaze and somehow drier than ever. But this... this is a horse of a different color. It stays on for ages and ages. It comes in a huge tin. It costs next-to-nothing. Apparently, you can also use it on your elbows? But best of all, I haven't had dry lips since I started using it. Purchase this, and you will know the specific but immense and undeniable pleasure that I know whenever I see rosebud salve for sale or being used by some no-nothing who knows nothing. Sucker! If I were a nice person, I might feel badly for keeping such a delicious secret to myself.

But hey - I never claimed to be a nice person. Just a person with really, really great skin and lips and makeup and no money.

Inspiring Me Now: The Shark Edition

I like the idea of weekly/monthly/seasonal fashion concepts. For lo these many years, I’ve gone around believing I was the only person to ever do something as ridiculous spend a week intentionally dressing to a “sitting on the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away” theme, a-la Otis Redding.

But then I discovered that I am not alone, and it truly warms my glacial heart to know that others are inspired by more interesting material than Kate Moss or Erin Wasson. Laura Jane as John Lennon in Rishikesh is just so much better. Better by a margin too infinite to express. My own most recent fashion inspiration, as you might remember, was Perou. But love is fickle. The tides are a-changing.

For July, my concept is a simple one: shark.

The backbone of the shark concept is a shark dress. What is a shark dress? It is simple. It is grayscale. It does not nip in at the waist because sharks do not have waists. Patterns and embellishments are not allowed. A shark is a torpedo with teeth... and in a shark dress, so are you.

Here are some examples. The first, I think, is the best:







Boring, you say? Bite your tongue! It's like being wrapped in a silk bedsheet, except with sharp lines and no volume.

This particular concept is also appealingly minimalist, because it removes the element of choice. Black ankle boots. Hair pulled back. A stroke or two of smoky grey eye makeup added to an otherwise bare face. Done.

No accessories allowed, with one appropriate exception:



This is actually made from whale teeth and not shark teeth, but whatever - mine won't be made from real teeth anyway. I'm on the lookout for tooth-like beads... and if that fails, I'll make my own damn teeth out of oven-bake sculpey. I'm ridiculously excited about making this necklace. Is my excitement palpable? It's totally palpable!

I hope you are getting a mind picture of the shark look I'm going for.

And I also hope that when you get dressed tomorrow, you are inspired by something brilliant, unusual and magnificent. Mostly because you are magnificent. But also because dressing like a shark is a thousand times better than dressing like stupid Kate Moss.

Look Closer

Gaspard Yurkievich Lace Top in Nero Argento


Alexander Wang Oxford Top in Light Blue


Future Classics Maxi Dress in Dipped Butterfly


SteveJ & YoniP Front Belted Dress in Pink


Vena Cava Netherworld Dress in Grey

All Images (c) Forward.com

Inspiring Me Now: The Perou Edition

Have you been watching this season of Make Me A Supermodel? Damn right, you have! And have you found yourself screaming "JONATHAN FOR THE WIN!" at every judging, particularly when he is shirtless?

Ah, but I am easily distracted. This post is not about Jonathan!
It is about another man.
Another British man.
A man often described as “the scary judge”.

A man named Perou.


Image © www.perou.co.uk

I knew I liked him as soon as I saw those damn sunglasses.

In case you are not familiar, Perou is a talented photographer with shaved head and a deep Sussex growl that makes my toes curl (you know... in a good way). He has yet to be seen without sunglasses and approximately three pounds of finger jewelry, and cuts a fine silhouette in tailored suits and aggressive marching band jackets. His ensembles are, without exception, more interesting and inspiring than anything sent down the MMAS runway.

How can I not be fascinated by someone who wears (in public) a black jumpsuit with a front pocket that says “I Like To Watch”? How can I not envy a man who sometimes appears to have stolen a jacket off the back of a reggae marching band’s drum major?

(I am also deeply gratified by the fact that he seems to hate everyone on the show that I hate... I'm looking at you, Gabriel Von Fishface. His two-week absence left the remaining judges flailing in the deep waters of their own incompetence and sending home random, undeserving models while horrible Amanda somehow remained unscathed. But since his gratifying return last night, all wrongs have been righted. RIGHTED!!!)

Perou, you are Inspiring Me Now™. Despite several of my significant material differences from you (being female instead of male, having long blond hair and not a shaved head, the notable absence of many aforementioned items of awesome clothing in my wardrobe, etc), I believe that our tastes do, indeed, overlap. I have attempted to find some awesome girl attire that gives a nod to your aesthetic while complementing my own. The results, below:


Martin Margiela L’incognito Sunglasses
$410 at Oki-Ni.com

Wide Mixed Chain Bracelets (one for each wrist)
$34 each at Urban Outfitters


Rag & Bone Boyfriend Jacket
$632 at Browns Fashion.com


3.1 Philip Lim Frogged Waistcoat
$580 at Colette.fr


Rick Owens Mesh Jacket with Hood
$436 at Browns Fashion.com

The best part is that I suspect many of his own choices (particularly the band jackets) are vintage, and so I feel no obligation to pine for a specific item of designer clothing when there are similar gems floating around the vintage universe, waiting to be discovered.

So bien joué, Perou, for experimenting and having fun with clothing, and for achieving that inimitable subset of personal style where the "look" you have works better on you than anyone else.

Impossible Desires: Net-a-Porter.com

Here are some of my latest Impossible Desires. Imagine that these clothes and I are pictured together, locked in embrace, on the cover of a hideously written romance novel about my insatiable lust for sartorial conquest.

For some reason, seeing the sequins and stripes and bright red silk together reminds me of a circus, which is strange, because I hate the circus. Frightening face painting, inferior starchy popcorn, terrible terrible oompa music that haunts my every nightmare...

Question one: is my unconscious mind trying to tell me that the time has come for me to join the circus, perhaps as an exceptionally well-dressed fire eater/bowling-pin juggler?

And (more important) question two: who has $4,085 dollars to give me?

1. Diane Von Furstenberg Sequined Blazer, $795 - details
2. La Perla Venus Allure Bra, $240 - details
3. Miu Miu Stripe Drape Dress, $1,270 - details
4. Miu Miu Satin V-Neck Top, $580 - details
5. La Perla Venus Allure Lace Shorts, $205 - details
6. Stella McCartney Mesh Basket Sandals, $995 - details

Intermix This

What have I been doing on this lazy Sunday afternoon? Why, casually filling my Intermix Online shopping cart with thousands of dollars of merchandise, and then editing it all down to the three or four things I would actually buy... you know, if I could hypothetically afford to do so without going hypothetically broke and being forced to wear my fabulous new duds in my less-than-fabulous new home, i.e. a dumpster or under a bridge somewhere.

The finalists include:

I have grand plans for this dress (which is appropriate, since I'd need a grand to buy it... har har). Oh dress, you are speaking to me! You are begging me to layer you over some sheer shirts and underneath a long jacket, making you cold-weather-appropriate. However, due to your cut and color, I think you'd be equally comfortable in the warmth of the summer sun. What a winner.

Also, this shirt was designed for me:

Yes. Oh yes. Oversized men's shirts are some of very favorite items of clothing, but tend to run either a bit short for the width or a bit wide for the length. But lo, behold - this sucker is divinely proportioned. I'm currently picturing it with opaque black tights and ass-kicking ankle boots... either my own from Urban Outfitters, or perhaps a nice expensive pair donated generously to me by net-a-porter, or shopbop, or Carine Roitfeld. Are you reading this, Carine? One woman can only wear so many ankle boots in her lifetime, and you have exceeded your quota... the time has come for you to send your cast-offs my way.

As for this sequin t-shirt:

Yeah, practicality isn't really in play here. I'll admit that. But I want the damn thing, okay? I want to look like a big walking emerald!

Besides... I can't be practical 24 hours a day.
All work and no play makes Jack go crazy and chop his family up with an axe, remember?

All images © Intermix Online

La Garconne

Starting your own blog after reading a thousand other blogs for (what feels like) a thousand years... it's kind of tricky. I've gotten used to internalizing my reactions to street styles, outfit posts, fashion editorials, people's opinion pieces, etc. It's a hard habit to break!

I've been noodling around the La Garconne website recently, a thin strand of drool escaping from my lips as I stare at outfits that would make up my wardrobe of basics... if only I could afford them.

Is it weird that I get so excited about jeans and tee shirts? It's the James Dean lover in me. I can't help it. Here's a slambang (albeit still basic) jacket to break up the monotony:

I'm sure I will write again about my love of the La Garconne la staple, because something deep in my bones cries out lovingly whenever I see pictures like those above. The appeal of a well-fitting t-shirt and pair of jeans is that you never appear to be too far up your own ass when your wearing it. I'm not saying I don't love drama, flash and glamour and the rest of it - it has its place, and fashion wouldn't be fashion without it. But when I see a girl draped in logos and dollar signs, swinging a monster handbag over her shoulder and strutting along, I think:

You would be more beautiful, more interesting, more evocative - in something that acts as a frame for your beauty, rather than simply showing off itself.